I watched "Losing it with Jillian Michaels" on NBC tonight. I hate her. No, really, I do. She wears tank tops and has arm muscles and spandex shorts and perfectly coiffed long brown hair and shiny pink lipstick. She phones up people and tells them she's answering their call and will be moving in to spend a week with them. The way these people act, you'd think they won the lottery with her phone call. Bah.
So, Jillain (yes, I know I spelled it wrong...spelled this way, it rhymes with villain) moves in with a family, and the first thing she does is go through their cupboards and remove what she calls "bad food" or "crap." To me, it's the staples of life: chips, pop, chocolate, frozen pizza, ice cream... You know, basically the major food groups! Then she sends them shopping for stupidgross healthy stuff like: spinach, collard greens, and extra lean turkey meat or something. I dunno, I wasn't really paying attention to that part.
Anyhow, she spends a week, puts them on a strict exercise regime, screams at them till she's hoarse, and then they basically all live happily ever after. Tonight's episode was a single mom and her 3 teenagers. All, except the son, were grossly overweight in Jillain's eyes. It made me mad that Jillain kept going on relentlessly about how unhealthy, and overweight they were. She kept asking them why they were settling for second best. I looked at those 2 teenage girls with jealousy. I thought they looked great! They were a normal, healthy size. I could only dream to look so good. But I guess since they weren't a size negative 0, and didn't look like anorexic pre-pubescent boys, in her eyes, they were disgusting. Meh.
As Jillain turns into Dr. Phil and decides she's a professional psychologist, the family opens up to her about why they're so darned fat. You guessed it: the parents' divorce several years earlier affected them all terribly. Years later, and they're all still messed up. This just adds to my sadness about J wanting to push our divorce through as quickly as he can. I know that MY mistakes definitely messed our precious kids up. But J could hold the keys to making our kids less messed up by not pushing for divorce. Divorce is a terrible thing. I actually hate that word and can barely type it, let alone say it! But I digress. Back to my Jillain story.....
Well, Jillain leaves the family with words of encouragement and promises to be back in 8 short weeks to see how they've progressed. The Mom vowed to lose 20 lbs. Jillain said that wasn't good enough and told her to lose 40 lbs in 8 weeks. What the ___??
Long story short, when Jillain comes back 8 weeks later for the big reveal of the "new" family, each of the girls has lost 30 lbs and the Mom has lost.....74 lbs. Seventy-Four Pounds. Who DOES that? 74 lbs in 8 weeks? Is that even really physically possible? I'm CLEARLY on the WRONG diet. Oh wait..I'm not ON a freakingstarvation diet. Heh heh, my bad.
The thing is, I didn't even want to watch "Losing it with Jillian." I was just waiting for "America's Got Talent" on NBC. I get all confused with the commercials that advertise what time shows start. I don't get the whole 9/8 Central/6:30 in Newfoundland thing. I started camping out after supper waiting for "America's Got Talent." And since I was too lazy tired to get up and grab the remote, I really didn't have a choice but to watch the Jillain show. I was pretty much tricked into it. Confession of the day: I don't really have much of a life when my entire evening AND blog are devoted to and consumed by a TV show I watched in full, but don't even like, while I was waiting for my favourite show to come on, because I was too lazy to get up and find the remote.
So you're probably asking yourself if my story has a point. And the answer is: No. Not really. Nope. Not so much.
ps-Jillian, if you're reading this, I secretly heart you! (But don't tell the rest of my readers. I have a reputation to maintain). Couldja Puh-Leaze come to my house and yell at me. I wanna lose 74 lbs, too!
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